read between the blondes

January 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

This blonde has been on hiatus for a while so I figured it might be about time to give this blog thing another shot.  My thought is this: I have a couple of friends and between those friends and myself I feel that we have some really good stuff that needs to be shared with the world.  It’s simply not fair to keep our bitterly blonde thoughts all to ourselves.  I don’t want to be selfish but I haven’t always been good at sharing, so let’s see how long I can keep it up this time.  Here’s to not being selfish and lazy, Cheers!

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just give up now before it’s too late

May 23, 2012 § Leave a comment

Every once in a while we let the toddler watch Ni Hao, Kai Lan because we would like for him to be able to speak to us in Mandarin so that we have no idea what he is saying. I feel like this makes him smarter (although I am hesitant to help make him any smarter than he already is out of fear that his wit will soon surpass my own).

So we were watching one of these episodes the other night in which Kai Lan was trying to teach the importance of practicing until you get better and not giving up. When Kai Lan lets us know that we “gotta, gotta try to find a reason why” Tolee is upset, my son yells out (while shaking his head in disgust), “Tolee, don’t try, try, try, you’ll just get upset.” Toddler 1, Nick Jr. 0.

potty talk

April 16, 2012 § 1 Comment

As my husband and I were sitting in the toddler’s room waiting for him to return from doing his business in the bathroom we overheard a wonderful little conversation between him and the family dog.

Toddler: Don’t look at me. I’m peeing.

Dog continues to walk into the bathroom despite the toddler’s warning.

Dog jumps into bathtub.

Toddler: It’s not a tubby night.

End scene.

My husband and I couldn’t help but smile from afar. Sometimes I wish I could have a video camera on that kid at all times so that I won’t miss anything….hmmm, that might not be such a bad idea….

that’s not a house, that’s a shed

April 16, 2012 § Leave a comment

While fulfilling one of my hobbies of looking at Real Estate that is neither affordable nor any where near where I live, I came across this little gem. I hope you will find this as absurd as I did.

NEWLY REMODELED ADORABLE BEACH COTTAGE WITH LARGE TWO CAR GARAGE‏

Bedrooms: 1 bedroom
Bathrooms: 1 Bath
Furnished: No
Lease Type: One year minimum lease
Pets: Will consider pet
Structure Type: Houses
Unit Details: Freestanding unit
Parking: 2-car Stand Alone Garage
Square Footage: 650
Rent: $2,400.00
Deposit: $2400
Available: Available Now!
Well no shit it’s available now! First of all, there is no such thing as a freestanding 1 bedroom, 1 bath house.  That’s not a house, that’s a shed. Second, a stand alone 2-car garage? You couldn’t even fit 2 cars in that house!   Let me also point out that this “adorable beach cottage” is not actually on the beach. It is a mile from the beach. On the positive side, this unit does include a refrigerator and come on, that alone is worth $2400/month.
The biggest problem that I have with this listing is that someone will rent it. Someone will think this is a good deal. This is what is wrong with the housing market these days.  The astronomical cost of homes in places like LA and NY will never even out to a reasonable cost if people continue to be sucked in to paying these prices to live in a teeny little dollhouse.  You should be able to buy a home large enough to house a family of 4 with a mortgage of $2400 per month.  A rental house barely large enough for a Bachelor, his cat, and his ego is not worth this price no matter where it is (unless it was on the moon, that might be worth it).

@KmartFashion

April 13, 2012 § Leave a comment

When did oxymorons become appropriate twitter handles for corporate marketing campaigns?  Not surprisingly, the people of Kmart have managed to get more than 20,000 people to fall for the fact that they might actually have some fashion sense.

...and apparently neither can people at KMart.

You should buy these pants.

(Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this then you probably already know I’m kind of a pretentious a-hole.)

I’m not your friend

April 9, 2012 § 1 Comment

Bitter Blonde says something relatively sarcastic and probably a little mean (but obviously super funny).

Husband: You’re not my friend

Bitter Blonde: I know, I’m your wife. There’s a big difference.

Husband: Nice. That must come with 5 years of marriage.

 

P.S. For Easter this year, my Mom pulled out Hal & Violet in an attempt to drive her in-laws insane (see the rebirth of Hal Clarence)  Here’s a photo for reference:

Violet was even dressed for the occasion while Hal was apparently channeling MC Hammer Circa 1990.

real women eat garlic

March 16, 2012 § 1 Comment

I hate recipes that call for only 1 clove of garlic. You’re either using garlic or you’re not.